September is National Suicide Prevention month, and I know I’ll see lots of messages about the risk factors and the best way to intervene and prevent suicide. And make no mistake—those are important, and I support watching an “Elephant in the Room: Let’s talk Suicide” webinar (see below) and having conversations based on the National Wildfire Coordinating Group Suicide Prevention Week papers. I also know that suicide is complex. It’s hard to rationalize someone else’s decision without standing in their shoes. It’s hard to describe your own feelings in the aftermath because they can change so much and so quickly it feels like whiplash.

There was a period of a couple of years in a previous job where I was close to several situations involving suicide. At that unit we had a small grassroots group that was formed to help people navigate challenging times. I have learned how to ask that very direct question, “Are you thinking about suicide?”, to coworkers and friends. And looking back now, I can laugh at myself for how awkwardly that question came out a few times. I’ve seen actions that were textbook and others that were way out of the box. Each story is unique, and the person’s progress or end result didn’t depend on the supporter. I’ve seen the best friend’s intervention end in death. I’ve seen the stranger’s intervention lead to life.

I like to think I learned something along the way. And I reserve the right to keep learning and refining how I think about this topic. You may not agree with me or the words I choose to try to explain it, and that’s OK. I also recognize that I am trying to keep this idea in mind when I think about the topic of suicide, but it gets harder when I put a face to it. Part of my thinking has to do with holding two opposing truths equally. One truth is that I want to prevent death by suicide. The other truth is that I accept that person’s decision.

I accept that they were fighting a battle that I know very little about, even if they told me about it. I accept that in their mind that was the best option, even if I could see other options. It may sound like I’ve given up on prevention, but I assure you I have not. The first time I got involved with trying to help someone in need, it ended in their death. I still lean into those situations and have the hard conversations, but I know I can’t take ownership of their decision. I can’t measure my success by wins and losses. Instead, I try to look at the times when I got to be involved as a gift from that person. I got to see them as they were. Sometimes it was enough, others it wasn’t.

And now in September, I think about what’s coming up. An end to a busy field season. There have been challenges and obstacles overcome, as well as tragedies and plenty of stress along the way. But staying busy and engaged is a great distraction. Where will you be when the distraction ends? Do you have the tools, the habits, the friends you need to weather a storm? I hope you’ve built those skills and relationships during the good times, so you know how to use them if bad times arrive. I think it’s also worthwhile to decide in advance if you are going to be the type of person who will accept help from someone else. At some point, our strengths become a weakness. Cultivate diverse strengths and recognize when that nail doesn’t need the same old hammer.

This year, the National Wildfire Coordinating Group Risk Management Committee's Mental Health Subcommittee developed messages to help spur reflection and conversation around mental health. Messages include Connecting to Others and Owning Your Feelings. Each is one page only, and contains thoughtful information geared toward helping navigate challenges in supporting others while ensuring self-awareness. 

You can also visit the Forest Service Mental Health Roadmap, which has links to the Employee Assistance Program as well as great information about employee resilience from WEPO, and log on for one of our monthly suicide prevention/intervention/post-vention webinars: Oct. 19, Nov. 16 and Dec. 14.

Elephant in the Room – Let’s Talk About Suicide Webinar

Tuesdays: Oct. 19, Nov. 16, and Dec. 14 from 11:00 -12:00 PST

Join the webinar via Adobe Connect: https://usfs.adobeconnect.com/dv/

Call in for best audio: (888) 844–9904 Access code: 1625330#

Please share with your networks by forwarding this information, but also take time to insert it into conversations as much as possible. Not everyone has the access or capacity to keep an eye on their email inboxes right now, and the delivery method is not the important part of this. Opening the conversation is the important part.